Parenthood

Yes, parenthood is an amazing journey in life, even though the process of becoming a parent and raising kids is not at all a bed of roses. As a parent of a teen and a toddler, I have been through every kind of emotional moment or experience with my children.

It starts from the moment they come to the world--so tiny and vulnerable. Watching them sleep, hearing their laughter, seeing their smiles, and feeling their hugs and kisses, are all priceless. There is nothing more innocent and pure than the love of a child. But then when they grow up and they don’t like your hugs and kisses anymore, it becomes very hard to accept that truth. With our older one, I must admit we did a lot of mistakes in parenting her. My wife and I were very young when we had her and she was the only child then. She has always gotten everything that she ever wanted. We tried to be more her “friends” than her parents. She grew up very entitled to everything up to the point that she became rude and arrogant. Now I realized that parenting is not only a functional role, but also an emotional one. I wish we had done it in a different way and taught her more life skills. For me, kids should do chores. Helping at home teaches children important life skills. Children who pitch in around the house become better team players, responsible co-workers, and eventually great life partners. Kids actually love to help out as it empowers them and bolsters their self-esteem. They take pride in feeling needed and important within the family.

The fact that everything changes when a child is born is true. It is difficult to understand this fact until it happens to someone. It is both terrifying and rewarding when I compare my life before and after having children. When I did not have children, I was the most important person in my life! I could focus on my own immediate needs or desires. If I wanted to take a nap in the middle of the day, I could. If I wanted to go shopping, go for a walk in the park, or go to the gym, I could. If there is something interesting on TV, I could sit down, watch it and enjoy it. If you want to savor a quiet, peaceful meal at home, you can.

After our child was born, everything was perfect except for the fact that unconsciously, my life has already begun to change. I am not what I was before when I had a child. Now, I have different kinds of fears. I worry about this precious human being that I love more than my life. These uncertainties together with this unique kind of love will stay with you forever. When a child is born, the "battle" begins. Anything beyond eating, shopping, exercising, watching TV, napping is surpassed. None of these things can be done in peace anymore. I squeeze them all in the five minutes that I’m free. Either I go shopping with my child while she cries and fights with me or I can leave her at home then feel guilty later about it. However, all of these ups and downs I quickly forget as soon as she smiles, learns a new trick and tries to get my attention to it.        I remember the day when my younger one started to walk. Every time she passes by each room in the house, she would stop and check on me. And when I acknowledge her presence, she would rush into the room and giggled. That was a really sweet moment I really cherished.

As a parent, I could say spending more time with your kids is truly important. A new survey says today’s parents are spending only a little over half an hour quality time with their children during the week because of the demands of modern life. The parents are working, the children are at school and evenings and weekends are taken up by club and sports activities and chilling out with friends. Consequently, this means that many families really struggle with getting to spend some time together and enjoy each other's company even for a while.  Don’t wait for the holidays or a vacation to connect with each other. Sunday breakfasts, Friday game nights, weekend shopping, or gardening can bring the family together. There should be one day of the week when everyone becomes unplugged. No texting, no Facebook, no TV or work schedule, and just find those moments to enjoy each other.