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Winter 2015

Self-Improvement

Wooden Blocks with the text Advice. Wooden ABC

Every day we are faced with decision making, and sometimes it is not easy to decide when you have to choose between two things.

In some cases, when I have had to make a decision, I apply what I have learned from a popular folklore from the Hispanic culture titled “The Three pieces of Advice”.

There are about 51 versions of this story. One of the versions is that, once upon a time, there was a newly married couple who lived in a town with job shortages and scarce resources. Some days, the couple did not have anything to eat, and this situation worried the husband to the point that he decided to emigrate to another country to improve the conditions of his family. However, he only had money to buy a ticket and pay for his stay. So, he talked to his wife about his plans. The wife loved her husband very much, and supported him in his decision, and did not tell him that she was pregnant.

The man arrived in the country to which he decided to emigrate to, and got a job on a farm; he agreed with the owner of the farm that he would only give him money to send to his wife, and the rest would be he deposited in the bank.

Twenty years had passed quickly, and the man spoke with his employer and told him that it was time for him to go home, and asked him to give him the money that he had saved all this time. The employer told him that he would give him the money and something more, but he would have to choose between the two: the three pieces of advice or some additional money. The man thought for two days, and in the end, he chose to go for the advice.

The employer said told him that he was making a wise decision, and gave him the following three pieces of advice.

  1. Do not take shortcuts in your life, shorter and unknown paths will lead you to lose your life.
  2. Never be curious about what is evil because curiosity about evil can be deadly.
  3. Do not make impulsive decisions in moments of hatred and pain, as they will lead you to make mistakes or unwanted acts.

The man thanked his employer for this advice and started on his way home.

When he was walking towards the train station, the man met a person who greeted him and asked him where he was going. He replied: “I am going to a very distant city that is several days away by train”. Next, the person answered, “This way is very long. I know a shorter way to take you in just half a day’s journey, and soon you will be in the city”.

The man agreed to go with this person by the indicated shortcut, but while he was walking, he immediately remembered the first piece of advice, “Do not leave a safe path for an uncertain path”. Then, he said goodbye to the person and resumed the main road.

Shortly after he learned that people who took that shortcut were assaulted and beaten by thugs, and that shortcut led to an ambush.

This advice I always use in my life. I do not like to take any shortcuts, under any circumstances, no matter how long it takes me, to get to take the safe path. I know that it will lead me to achieve my goals, while any shortcut may end up being be a mistake.

After several days of traveling by train, the man arrived in a city that was only a few days from his home. Tired from the train journey, he decided to find an inn to rest, and then continue on to his house.

Then the man found a modest inn which was very clean with a friendly host, who told him: “This is a quiet town, only sometimes strange people who celebrate scandalous parties visit us”.

Immediately, the man took a bath and then his dinner. When he was getting ready to sleep, he decided to walk through the balcony that was near the main room. Being there, he realized that in the distance there was a beautiful house, where a scandalous party was being held, and the guests were drunk and sang loudly. A person who was going to the party yelled “Hey friend, do not stand there watching, you are not curious to know how the party is, come with me and we will have a great time”. The man said, “I am going to go. I don’t have time to enjoy a party”. When he was heading downstairs and going to the party, right away he remembered the words of the owners of the inn and that advice given by his former boss:

“Never be curious about what represents evil, because curiosity about evil can be fatal”. So, he decided to go back and sleep, since the next day a long journey on his way home awaited him.

The following morning, the owners of the inn asked him if he had heard the noise of the party that was being held at the entrance of the town, and if he was curious about going to that party. He answered that he had seen it from the balcony and he was curious, but decided not to go. The owners told him he had done well as at midnight a drunken person started shooting, killing several people who were at the party. The news shocked the man, and he said to himself prudence is the best choice. He finished his breakfast and continued on his way home.

How many problems we could avoid remembering this advice as recklessness and curiosity about evil is something that we are tempted to do every day. I always give this advice to my nephews and nieces, who are young and who are tempted by evil people, to not to be curious about evil.

The man continued on his way to his house, and near his house he climbed a hill which he used to visit with his wife. He could see his house from the hill, and he saw that his wife hugged a young man. This scene made the man angry thinking that his wife had deceived him all this time. He took out a gun that he had bought to protect himself from the robbers on the way and decided to kill his wife and her lover. But when he came down the hill with anger and tears in his eyes, the third piece of advice came to his mind. “Never make impulsive decisions, when you are full of anger and pain”. That was how he stopped for a moment and reflected, “Well after all, I decided to work for her, I have left her alone all this time”. He took his money and divided it in two - one part for his beloved wife and one for himself. He buried the gun that he had bought because in the end he understood that it was not a good decision to have bought it.

Upon reaching his house and knocking on the door, his wife opened the door for him and with tears in her eyes, she told him “At last you have returned” and she called her son saying, “Your father has returned”.

The man said, “As if we have a son”. The wife said when he decided to go, she did not want to tell him that she was pregnant, so that he you would not change his plans. With the money that he sent, she decided to start a business and with the money she earned she was able to provide for their son.

The man with tears in his eyes, said, “How I have been able to mistrust of you, a good woman”

The third piece of advice was, “Do not make hasty decisions in times of pain, or anguish. It is better to wait to be calm, ask the necessary questions and then make the decisions”.

This story has passed down from generation to generation through the oral tradition of storytelling. I learned about it on a trip to a small town in my home country, Venezuela, where people do not have the habit of watching television, but rather tell stories to one another and the people who visit them. I am very grateful to those people who told me this beautiful story, and I hope they continue to do so, especially those who visit them.